always en route

• 2010-12-25

  

  Taken with instagram

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  Taken with instagram

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  Frozen reservoir behind my house (Taken with instagram)

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  Taken with instagram

• 2010-12-24

  

  Jack (Taken with instagram)

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  Taken with instagram

• 2010-12-23

  

  My brother jack (Taken with Instagram at 4344 toddsbury)

• 2010-11-04

  My Church Asked Me to Leave

  Preface

  My father, along with the rest of the staff at my old church, was asked to resign by the church’s steering committee (the very vocal minority) earlier this year. I do not know all the details, but I do know of few things. I know that the majority of the people I looked up to, the people who always came to visit me in the hospital, the people who supported me in Germany, and the ones who were always, genuinely interested in how I was doing ended up leaving the church as well.

  Story

  I received a letter yesterday from the old church, where I thought my membership resided. The letter informed me that the church was trying to contact all members in attempt to update their records. Direct quote:  “We trust and believe those members who desire to remain faithful supporting members of our Lynn Haven fellowship will complete the cards and return them promptly. If cards are not received back within 30 days of this notice, we will remove the names from our membership roll.”

  After finishing the letter, my dad asked me to check the date on the letter. The letter was dated September 30th. The post date on the envelope was November 1st. The time had past and I had lost my church membership without ever knowing it was in question.

  Commentary

  I have often listened to conservative speakers and preachers speak from the pulpit in desperation about the dwindling numbers in churches and the decline of Christianity. Their tone puts off a vibe of a crisis event and their lack of understanding comes from the belief that the most influential and determining factors come from outside the church doors. I have heard and seen blame put on our president, Mr. Barack Obama, separation of church and State, the rise in Islam, and even secular media. As someone who has grown up in the church seeing things from the perspective of within, one extremely common characteristic of churches and church-goers comes to mind, and it is arrogance. With so many Christians, the question of whether they are in the right has never been raised. The assumption is that because they are church-going Christians, their actions much be the appropriate ones. Yet, evidence, like my experiences, point otherwise.

  But, all hope is not lost. In my attempts to find community in Roanoke, I filled out an online interest form for a more contemporary church in town. I submitted my request for further information on a Sunday, and I received a call on Monday from the church. A lady named Beth left one of the most friendly and sincere voicemails I have ever heard telling me she was looking forward to talking with me and finding a place for me in a small group at the church.

  That is the current picture of what I see as the Church. Old style and new. 

  Dessert

  Also, in attempt to raise attendance, my old church had a promotion in which they literally paid everyone who showed up. Seriously, the church advertised that whoever came to the church service on a particular Sunday would receive 5 dollars. Catholic church indulgences ring a bell?

• 2010-10-22

  Hello boys and girls. Welcome to story time with Chandler. Please make yourselves comfortable by finding a seat on the rug. Settle down children, settle. Sam, please don’t pick Patrick’s nose. Chip. Chip! Leave Sally’s skirt alone. (I swear. Boy instincts start surprisingly young.) Okay, there. Tonight, Chandler is going to tell you a very important story, so I want everyone to listen carefully and copious notes are always suggested.

  Boys and girls, I present to you: “The Tale of How Chandler Lost All Hope for America”

  It began like so many other days in Georgia-sunny, hot, and humid a hell. I promise myself that one day I will live in such a place where the season of Autumn is actually accompanied by Fall weather. It just makes so much sense. Anyway, it was hot and I was having some good ole southern barbecue. Yum, yum! Remember kids, in the South, things like mac and cheese count as vegetables. What a magical place!

  As I do with many of my sandwiches, I wanted some chips to put on my sandwich to give it that extra crisp that I love so much in addition to the traditional coleslaw and sauce (vinegar based please). I checked the pantry and to my delight, what do I see? SunChips! Delicious, light, crispy SunChips. I grab the bag and something feels different. My instinct do not normally steer me wrong, so I check the bag. Correct was I. After intently reading the bag, it was brought to my attention that SunChips had successfully created and distributed the very first 100% compostable bag.

  I could barely contain myself. “This is it,” I thought aloud. “The future is now.” I suddenly envisioned a future where all consumer packaging didn’t pile up in landfills just beyond the whiff of the uptight suburbanites. A time when major corporations cared more about the actual consumer and the planet more than profits and bonuses. For the first time in a long time, I was happy. I had hope.

  As someone who loves the environment, loves spending time in the outdoors, and believes we should actually be good stewards of this planet we live on, my dreams had come true and was delivered to me in a 10.5 oz pouch of love… I mean chips.

  These were the good times. I was riding high and loving life. The air was cleaner and the world was a greener place. I just knew that at any second, people would stop arguing about taking good care of the environment and things would really start to happen. I almost pissed myself at the thought of getting that fully electric truck I’d been dreaming about. Ahhh! I was so giddy.

  Then the clouds rolled in. It was ominous how slow and strong the darkness swept across the land and into my heart. Something was wrong. And as a single tear ran from my eye to moisten my beard, I knew something terrible had happened. I wasn’t sure just what, but I instantly felt sadness and suffering.

  After a sleepless night, I attempted to shake off the deep sinister feeling in my gut. That is when I got the news. My cousin informed me, while giving my a preemptive hug, that SunChips had decided to pull the compostable bag from the shelves of local grocers across the nation. I began my frail attempt to fathom why they would do such a thing. Did they find out that the bags were, in fact, not biodegradable? Did it turn out they were a health hazard? Could it be that the bags when melted in spoon and inhaled made someone high?

  After being lost in my wonderment for 15 minutes, I had to ask, “Why? Why would SunChips get rid of a biodegradable, compostable, good-for-the-world bag?”

  “People on the internet were complaining that the bags were too loud?” answered my teary-eyed and equally distraught cousin.

  I stared back at him as the world seemed to close in. “You have got to be $#*!ing me!”

  “No.” His reply was simple, sad, and the last words he could muster up that day.

  This was the tipping point. My dad talks about the point where he knew he wanted to marry my mom. I sometimes talk about the point where my girlfriend of two weeks named our future kids and I knew I needed to end it immediately. But this was more important. This moment was the point in time where I lost hope for America. Gone… similar to the freight train and, as I am led to believe, yesterday.

  In one swift move, America bashed the my hope in my homeland to a bloody mess and reinforced one of the worst American stereotypes: our inability to change and our incredulous lack of caring about anything other than ourselves. It’s sadly telling that American would rather hurt the environment than have a noisy chip bag. Put the damn chips in a damn bowl!

  Perhaps the problem goes deeper. It could be that the people complaining so much about the SunChips bag didn’t like the noise emitted by the bag because every time they heard it, it was an alarm that they were consuming something less than ideal health-wise. Is it the chip bag or is that the sound of your addiction? How many people with gambling addictions or problems with uncontrollable shopping do you know with Velcro wallets?

  Not everything is always as it seems, but most of the time it is. It seems that Americans would rather have more landfills than have the sound of a chip bag in their ear. It seems as though Americans do not actually know or even care what is best for them in the long run. It seems like the rejection of an environmentally friendly chip bag speaks volumes about who we are as a people. What does it say to you?

  Remember this time boys and girls. Remember this fork in the road. And remember which road America took. You might as well let go of hoping our country’s colors becoming Red, White, Blue…. and green.

  One day, you will all grow up and have children of your own that are just like you. Live your whole life with them and all the younger generations with them in mind. For when your children ask why they have to wear 135 SPF sunblock to go outside and play, tell them this story and remind them that the majority of Americans are selfish and dumb.

  This concludes crazy story time with Chandler. Come back next week to hear about the time I killed Bambi’s mom. Mrs. Nesbitt has cookies and milk in the atrium. Have a good week children.

  Source: vimeo.com

• 2010-09-29

  Free Beer - USA Today Article

  (read article first)

  I like commenting on things and poking fun at stuff. It makes me feel superior. Why else would I do it?

  So Budweiser is struggling. I’m not surprised. The only time I considered myself a “Bud Man” was during a short time where I was 20 and the Marathon on Northside Drive would actually sell it to me. Man, I miss that rush. But, suddenly I stopped drinking Budweiser. Why? Because it’s an inferior beer. Do you know who we have to blame…

  Give me a second to get up on my soapbox…

  Feminist of the 17th century and Ray Kroc from McDonald’s.

  Seriously. Feminism against men in pubs snowballed, slowly, into the 18th Amendment to the US Constitution which enacted Prohibition in 1920.

  (piece of propaganda: the KKK supported the 18th Amendment. Your not a racist are you? Then crack open a cold one. “Cheers to love crossing all boundaries!”)

  Companies such as Anheuser-Busch, Miller, Pabst, and Schlitz (all Germans) survived the Prohibition by manufacturing many products, one of which was non-alcoholic Cereal Beverages or more famously “Near Beer.” Near Beer is what you get after removing the natural alcohol-forming phase during the brewing process. You end up with a watery, light, tart tasting beverage. Sound familiar? You’re exactly right. At the time when Prohibition ended, the American population had normalized to “near beer” (1 billion Liters per year to be exact). The big breweries didn’t want to change the taste of beer. (Remember what happened with “New Coke?”) They just added a pinch more alcohol and behold, Budweiser, Pabst, Miller, and so on. Watery, light, and tart.

  Essentially, brewing beer, a wholesome process that dates all the way back to 3,000 BC got tarnished about 100 years ago. Beer, George Washington’s beverage of choice that he rationed to his men whilst they fought off the redcoats to give all Americans freedom today, was deemed “sinful” and was forbidden by the very people for whom that freedom was fought for.

  And then Ray Kroc streamlined hamburgers making them available to the entire world, but did so using progressively cheaper and more unhealthy ingredients. Manufacturers of food and drink took note and followed suit. Don’t believe me? Then why do we use High Fructose Corn Syrup in our Coke and feed the cows we get our meat from corn when, evolutionary-wise, they’ve been grass-eaters for millennia. Every time you buy a Coke or McDonald’s hamburger, you are voting ‘Yes” for unhealthy food.

  Basically, that is why Budweiser was so successful. Thankfully, with the rise of microbreweries, we shouldn’t have to put up with Budweiser for much longer. I had a Cap’n Krunkles from the Terrapin Brewery the other day. Absolutely divine!

  And finally, me point:  to Anheuser-Busch, if you want your sales to stop plummeting, BREW A BETTER BEER!

  p.s. - Yes, I will take your free beer, but I might not say “thank you” with true sincerity.